Terms

Last updated 1 October 2026

By playing Return Am! you agree to these terms. They're short, and most of them come down to: play fair, keep the leaderboard clean, and remember it's a joke.

1. Who we are

Return Am! is made by FATHERXLDN LIMITED, a company registered in England and Wales ("we", "us"). You can reach us at play@returnam.com.

2. It's satire

Return Am! is a work of fiction and political satire. Every politician, party, constituency, agency and character in it is made up. Any resemblance to a real person is coincidental. The game makes fun of corruption as a pattern; it doesn't make claims about any real individual, and it doesn't encourage violence against anyone. It's a cartoon beat-'em-up, and the fighting stays in the game.

3. Playing the game

The game is free to play in your browser. There's nothing to buy and no account. The naira, kobo, upgrades and outfits in the game are pretend: they have no real-world value and can't be exchanged for money or anything else.

We may change, pause or stop the game, reset leaderboards or adjust how things work at any time. We'll try to keep it running, but we can't promise it'll always be available or free of bugs.

4. The leaderboard

If you post a score, the name and city you enter are shown publicly. When choosing a name, don't use:

• anything abusive, hateful, sexual or threatening;
• someone else's real name, or a name that pretends to be someone you're not;
• phone numbers, links, adverts or other personal details.

We can remove any name or score from the leaderboard, at our discretion and without notice.

5. Play fair

Don't cheat. That means no faking scores, sending made-up requests to our servers, automating play, or getting round the limits we use to keep the board fair. Don't try to break, overload or get unauthorised access to the game or the services behind it. We may remove scores or block access where we see this.

6. Who owns what

The game, including its code, art, characters, music, text and the name Return Am!, belongs to FATHERXLDN LIMITED. You're welcome to stream it, record it, post clips and screenshots, and share your result cards. Please don't copy the game, rehost it or sell it.

7. Your safety

The game has flashing effects, screen shake and fast movement. If you're sensitive to flashing lights, take care, and stop playing if you feel unwell. Take breaks, and don't play while doing anything that needs your attention, like driving or crossing the road.

8. Liability

The game is provided free and "as is". As far as the law allows, we aren't liable for any loss or damage from using it, or from not being able to use it. Nothing in these terms limits liability that can't be limited by law, such as for death or personal injury caused by negligence, or for fraud. If you play as a consumer, these terms don't affect your legal rights.

9. Your data

How we handle data is set out in our privacy policy.

10. Changes and the law

We may update these terms. The date at the top shows when they last changed, and if you keep playing after a change, the new terms apply. These terms are governed by the law of England and Wales. If you live elsewhere in the UK, you can also bring a claim in the courts of your home nation.